Getting older and maybe a little wiser?

I turned 37 today.

A part of me is a little upset that I’m not turning 38, because I like even numbers.

Wait — do I?

I think I used to say that I liked odd numbers.

No, that’s not it.

I’ve been saying I’m 37 or soon-to-be-37 for a number of months and now that I am finally 37, it’s kind of old already. I want to be a new and shiny 38.

Thirty-eight is not any more special than 37, but it is closer to 40. And 40 is a big deal. In Islam, it’s when adulthood starts. On one hand, it’s kind of scary to think about. But on the other hand, I feel like maybe by the time I’m 40, I’ll have more wisdom so that the little things no longer get to me.

But it’s not really about getting older physically. It’s a mental state. Some people age with wisdom because they realize all of this is going to end. Others just get older.

I want to make this short and sweet because I want to publish something before I go out again.

I didn’t get to do my annual birthday run, but maybe I can walk 3.7 miles or just walk for 37 minutes? I don’t know why I do things like that. Honestly, it’s okay if I break my 5-year tradition. I’ve broken quite a few “resolutions” I had made for myself in just a few weeks. I’m not beating up myself over it, because I surprisingly held my resolve on a few things that I’ve struggled with for a number of years (i.e. I didn’t weight myself for over a month!) and much to my delight I didn’t gain 10 pounds like I “feared” I would.

I’ve been anticipating tomorrow to be a difficult day because it will be the 1-year anniversary of the start of The Event. But I’ve had such a great weekend so far that maybe I won’t feel sad. Sure, I can wallow in misery, but I can also choose to be grateful for all the wonderful things God has given me. Because even though I suffered a loss and still have that grief, I don’t have to give it all that much power over how I feel and act.

For now, I’m okay.

And that’s good. Alhamdulillah.